ActiveSync won't let me update rom, disconnects everytime

[bigdawgdl]

I am trying to update to the VetVito rom, but ActiveSync is being the same *** it always is. I am on Windows XP SP3. I can get it to connect initially, and then I click the Rom update and get all the way to the part where it brings up the progress bar on the computer screen and the phone goes intro tricolor mode then the grey screen with the progress bar, right then you can hear the sound Windows makes when you unplug a USB device and various notifications pop up that say either, "THE USB device has malfunctioned, or it brings up the found new hardware wizard sometimes and installs Qualcomm CDMA something and Microsoft USB Sync and still drops the connection, sometimes drop and regains and drops again the USB connection but by then I've lost the ROM update, or I get a USB device not recognized sometimes, or sometimes I get a Your hardware was not installed properly and may malfunction. Either way, it just NEVER works or very rarely.

I've tried everything. I disabled firewalls and cut off my antivirus, I have 2 computers I'm trying, turned off my internet router, I have 2 different USB cables, the latest ActiveSync (4.5), tried using different usb ports on the computer, can someone please help me?

If you have AIM, I'm bigdawgdl v2 by the way