Aggressive Memory Management?

As can be seen in my other thread where my keyboard has died, I've tried reflashing to NueROM because I wanted a stock ROM. As a side note, I am really impressed with how much faster and smoother NueROM is, I never realized how choppy the stock ROM is, until I saw it next to an iPhone... this is much closer so the same smoothness, and much nicer. ANYWAY...

Is there a way to adjust windows' memory management? no2chem has it set to be so aggressive it closes -everything-. The RAM usage never goes much above 45% before programs start disappearing. glight (or in my case, lumos) gets closed, opera closes immediately, even resco explorer gets closed as soon as another program is opened. I can't have Pandora or google maps in the background to reply to a text, it's a huge inconvenience!

It's a huge pain to navigate back to where you were in Opera just because it closed completely because I went to reply to a text. Same goes for beejive, now that I think about it, even the default messaging clients.

So again, any way to adjust when Windows starts closing the programs in the background?