word phone????? - Page 2

pirate · #11 (**permalink**) 05-20-2010, 05:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gTen

I have a question..how did they enter John Doe into the phone?

It's a pretty simple procedure. I believe you flip open the phone and a recording immediately begins cycling through all known words/phrases/names in the English language. You simply press "NO" till you reach your desired word/phrase/name (in this example, "John"). You then press "YES". Continue by repeating the previous step till you get to the word "Doe", then press "YES" one more time. Once you complete those steps, press "OPERATOR" and give the person on the other end a convincing reason why you NEED to speak with John Doe (requesting to have John Doe come halfway across town to remove a jar lid would NOT constitute a convincing reason). If you state your case clearly and succinctly, you will be connected with John Doe.

Now, the "TOW" button is not what you might assume. It's actually an acronym for the US Army's Tube-launched, Optically-guided, Wire-tracked missile. This would, more than likely, place whomever is sporting the Jitterbug handset in immediate, mortal danger. To prevent the accidental dialing of "TOW", you might need to put masking tape or something on that button with some sort of warning before you gift it to Grandpa.

Rest assured, the "911" button will actually connect the user to emergency services, during every waking hour (every day from 4am to 4pm).

I'll admit, after reading this it might seem like the whole thought process was somewhat lacking during the development of this device. Some features might sound a bit over-complicated or dangerous, perhaps. In actuality, it was engineered specifically to keep old people from constantly calling their children and talking about their cat Bunky's skin condition and lazy eye.

I believe this is all exhaustively covered on the one-sided, half-sheet user's manual though.

Really... it's a great phone.