OK I finally found a fix. Posting just in case others have this problem
THe following thread at pdaphonehome.com has the solution to most peoples gmail issueshttp://pdaphonehome.com/forums/ppc-6700-xv6700/59573-disappearing-vanishing-emails-w-gmail-p-outlook.html?highlight=disappearing+gmail
Interestingly after all this I was still having a problem so I kept looking and ran across this thread at howardforums.com.
http://www.howardforums.com/showthre...0&page=2&pp=15
by changing my username to recent:username@gmail.com I was finally able to DL messages AND they stayed on my device after sending/receiving