Skim thru the first 3 or 4 pages of threads here in this forum (or the androidforums link below) - just skim the subjects and you will find many that fit a lot of your questions.
This is a good forum here at ppcgeeks, and this has an awful lot of info:
http://androidforums.com/motorola-droid/
But I also like HoFo and droidforums.net.
For anything related to development though, alldroid is the best:
http://alldroid.org/viewforum.php?f=104
The "bugless" rom's are probably the most popular right now, but I'm using the Sholes 1.1. They come out with new versions and updates constantly, which is good and bad.
And I give you 1 day with the Droid before you make it your main phone.
