I need a little help understanding this memory thing?

[Asphyx]

When you flash a ROM it goes into the ROM Memory not the other....

There really is no physical difference between Program memory and storage memory...It's really the same momory (RAM)

Whatever memory is left after storage is what is available as program memory!

I think the problem you are having with flashed roms is because you have your pagepool set too high! (especially important on a VZW phone!)

The page pool reserves a portion of your remaining ram for operational usage to speed up your phone! (think of it like a ram swap file!)

Before you flash your rom try using the pagepool changer (which should come with the rom your flashing, if it doesn't search for it and use it!)
lower your pagepool to 8-12 instead of the usual 24 that most cooks use.

You should shoot for about 50 - 60% ram usage on startup.
If you don't have that much try lowering the pagepool or removing some apps you don't need.

TF3D2 does take up a ton of ram but voice command does too!
look in your windows startup folder and see if there is anything you don't need running in there and remove it!