Can't flash, "headphone mode"

[perkins133]

I'm on MightyROM but I don't suspect that this problem is due to the ROM. I'm not sure where exactly this problem starts, so I'll just list what I noticed in order:
1. Stuck in "headphone mode" - no sound from calls, alarms, or media. Tried reinserting the jack several times, doesn't go away.
2. Trying to flash back to stock so I can take the phone in to Verizon, but WMDC won't connect. Where it should say "connected," it says "error."
3. Tried running the stock rom .exe anyway but it says "This Update Utility cannot be used for your phone"
4. To top it off, my keys are locked in my car and it's running.

Any help on any of these issues is greatly appreciated.