Ya, Internet Connection Sharing seems kinda finnicky over USB. I usually use Bluetooth, but when I do use USB I follow this ritual:
1) Enable ICS (over USB) on the phone
2) Connect the USB cable to the phone and wait a few seconds.
3) Connect the USB cable to the computer.
It's probably mostly in my head, but this method/sequence of events seems to work. If I connect the USB cable to the computer first it usually has issues connecting.
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