[chronster]

Yeah I know man. I was so disappointed to see that my smiley faces weren't turning into emoticons. I had my phone out at the bar with like 20 people watching. It was a big moment because I had just installed 82.79 (with the promise of emoticons.) After I received a smiley face that wasn't upright, round, and circle, everyone laughed. All the women immediately knew I was sexually inferior to anyone else on the planet, and someone even broke a beer bottle over my head.

I do not know what my life will be like without emoticons, but I do know I am now a shell of a man. An empty vessel doomed to walk the earth without emoticons.