Try Oxios Hibernate or WkTask.
http://www.smartphone.net/software_d...wktask_en.html
Or if you like to pay for stuff, there is memmaid and sktools for automated memory clearing.
I know this doesnt answer your question, but most likely there is a memory hole in one of your programs, a common programming error, and nothing you can do about it but try different roms. I would definitely give KK's Loaded rom a try for fixing nuances like that.