Email/Contacts/Calendar between your phone and computer can only be synced natively with Outlook, not Outlook Express or the Vista equivalent: Windows Mail.
The simple steps to natively sync:
1) Install ActiveSync (XP) or Windows Mobile Device Center (Vista).
2) Install Outlook.
3) Connect the phone and sync.
If you do not have a copy of Microsoft Office or just Outlook, you can download a 60 day trial of Office from office.microsoft.com.
If you do not want to use Office or Outlook, here are some alternatives that would in no way be supported by Palm or Microsoft that you can investigate to see if they might be right for you:
PDAsync
http://www.laplink.com/pdasync/
FinchSync
http://www.finchsync.com/ (can sync contacts with Mozilla Thunderbird and calendar with Mozilla Sunbird)