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This is totally a non-technical response but I am using both from main memory and haven't noticed any performance problems or stability issues. They both use quite a bit of memory but for the features that I get it is worth it. But I don't leave either of them running in the background and the memory hit has not caused me any problems. I recommend joining the forums and getting the latest beta/release candidate versions. I have both and they are pretty stable.
Flexmail caused some problems for alot of people in the past. They have aggressively been working to improve those and the current version in my experience has been darn good.
Not familiar with Visto but someone in WebIS's forums may be able to answer that.
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