There is an application called
ActiveSync Toggle V1.0.4.0 that can be found here
http://www.micrologics.co.uk/library/ast/
ActiveSync Toggle allows you to either load or unload ActiveSync from memory whilst also removing the registry key that automatically loads it upon starting Windows.
As far as the instant messaging open the program and go to menu then settings and click Global settings uncheck the block Start Automatically on Power On, then at the bottom tap the menu button then save.