[ebysoccer08]

OK, the problem was only that one of the pins was bent under another inside the tiny port. This is what I figured out, if anyone else runs across this:

There are five metal pins on top of the little plastic tab inside the port (these are for the mini USB (both charging and syncing))
Then there are six pins on the bottom of the tab (for audio (headsets and headphones))

So, depending on what an adapter utilizes (one, the other, or both), they will only have connections on the corresponding sides.

The best advice is when plugging in aftermarket adapters, make sure there is nothing on the inside of them that will throw things out of line for all adapters to come. Also, at least the first few times, push the adapter in very gently, if you feel much resistance, don't force it; pull it out, adjust it a little, and push it gently again.

I don't think this is a major recurring problem with this piece of technology, I just had bad luck. So thank god I figured it out, and I hope everyone else can avoid this.