I found I had to disable the HTC messaging because it constantly lagged or froze my phone. What worked for my Verizon TP2 custom ROM (4_5 Dusk6_5_x_VZW) was to first install tjELITE.VZWArcSoftMMS5.2.12.45.cab, disable HTC msg using Zenyee Disable HTC messaging 1.2 , check my SMS/MMS setting and either change or create a Verizon CDMA Server with the following:
Server name: Verizon
Ip Address: Blank
Port Number: 80
Server Address:
http://mms.vzw.com/servlets/mms
Connect Via: Internet
My highest 'Send Data Limit' is 300k
NO WAP FOR ANY OF THESE
Anyhow this was through various ROM's, utilities, and settings. I'm not saying it will work for everyone but I can now send/receive MMS while enjoying my fast custom ROM.
Do the same under GSM Servers, but instead of Server Address:
http://mms.vzw.com/servlets/mms, use
http://mms.vtext.com/servlets/mms