from the download page for 3.5 .net:
This package uses ActiveSync 4.0 to update the device. Before running NETCFSetupv35.msi, connect your device to your PC. If your device is not connected, ActiveSync will store the CAB file and will not install the package until you connect. If you are not using ActiveSync, run the CAB files on the device that correspond to the device–specific CAB files found in the install folder.
now i've loaded 3.5 onto my computer and have my phone hooked up to active sync, but still now update to my phone.
the last part says that there is a cab file in my install folder. where is the install folder? maybe i can just move the cab over to my phone and update that way.