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Sprint will also be sending out agents to each and every device owner, to personally flash your phone for you and tell you, in person, that they love you and really value your business. When the flashing is complete, the agent will proceed to give you a full body massage with genuine Ethiopian cocoa butter for a full 90 minutes.
Lastly, as the agent departs your home or office, they will hand you a crisp $100 bill, slightly sticky from the still-warm cocoa butter on their hands.
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