Well I did a few more rom updates and reinstalls of everything and I think I found the problem... HTC Home plugin was eating memory for some reason on the new dcd rom... I could just set the device on the table with the screen off and an hour later go back in and see less memory available...
I ditched it and am trying sbp plugin now to see if I still have problems...
btw no2chem's rom didn't seem as good as dcd's for verizon... dcd's had 3-4mb extra after install and runs a LOT faster... no2chem's had a bunch of weird warnings and things when installing apps and was locking up for some apps i tried installing so I just went back to dcd's for now
the more I think about it the more I don't think I want to lose the wifi by switching to touch... it's really nice to connect to network shares and move files easily... also my evdo is flakey for some reason! I think it's the new radio.. going to have to read up more on that.