I actually found a VNC program and I think it will work for what you want it to do, I can try to make a step by step guide to set this up.
1. Download and install UltraVNC
found here. Also download
this VNC viewer for windows mobile.
2. Once you have UltraVNC installed, start the program "UltraVNC Server" once started an icon looking like a blue box with an eye in it will open in the taskbar. Right click it and select "Admin Properties". Now configure those settings to these:
.
(But change the password's to your own of course.)
3. Now you are going to have to forward ports on your router again. Forward port 5900 to the IP Address found before.
4. Onto the phone part, take the downloaded .zip folder (the second download in step one) and extract it somewhere on your phone (it shouldn't matter where).
5. Once the previous folder is on your phone, open it the folder, then click on the program "vncviewer". Again go to
this site to find your IP Address. Once you have the IP Adress, enter it in the "Server" box, followed by "::5900" (without the quotes, but with both colon's). Then in the "Password" box enter the password that you chose in step 2. The other settings you can either leave, or adjust as you like. Once you have the settings just click "OK" and wait for it to connect.
(Also if you are getting an error or can't connect, allow port "5900" as both a UDP and TCP in the windows firewall)
This way you can both see the same screen, and can both have control.
If you have any questions let me know and I will try to help.