Ok, since it seems like my phone cannot be saved without sending it in for warranty work, I wrote this poem, which neither rhymes, nor is it a haiku.
ODE TO MY TP
Oh my Touch Pro
How lovely you were in life
and now as a brick how sad
no more to hear your start-up sounds
no more to be my companion
Oh the pictures you took
and oh the places you've seen!
rest now my friend
be at peace
for alas you were brought to greatness
greatness from the help of ppcgeeks elite
but now you have been thrust down
thrust down by my folly
and there is none here who can save you
even they cannot save you from the depth of which you have been plunged
Oh my dear friend
how long will I go on mourning you?
every time I think of you
I will shed a tear
for alas you were my companion
and now you have passed on
to the land of brickdom!