Re: ROM recommendation
I think Lunacie's 32L ROM is your best choice. You'll want to look for a "LITE" ROM because those aren't loaded with additional apps. Lunacie's 32L is pretty fast and stable. You can't expect any Sense 2.5 ROM to be as smooth as your stock ROM because TP wasn't meant to handle Sense 2.5. Sense 2.5 uses more memory than Manila 2.0 or 2.1.
Just like you, I do enjoy stock functionality and I like to install the few apps that I actually use. I do agree that Sense 2.5's home screen is MUCH more useful than the other Manilas. You have quick access to weather and favorite programs/contacts.
If you do choose Lunacie's, you should follow his thread closely because he's always testing out the latest versions of WM and finding the most stable one.
Hope that helps!
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