Congrats to those of you who are getting it.
I agree with meatlocker about the subtlety in your intentions. I never once during my conversation with retentions said "give me a Touch, and I'll stay." I told him that I loved the features of my phone, but the bugs are getting incessant and monotonous, and that I wanted a different model. He then asked me what model I wanted, then I said that I have a couple friends who just got "something called the Touch" and they told me they have none of the problems I have.
Sorry if my original "walkthrough" was misleading. You don't want to seem too aggressive on the phone, or they will definitely not give you what you want, and can tell you're bluffing. You have to act like you don't know anything. You're just some user with a phone that doesn't work very well, and would like something similar, but in a different model.
That said...mine is coming tomorrow.
I'll be checking UPS every 15 minutes lol