I have Grey....and you could probably use these ideas to make it black.
Here is everything you will need.
THIS IS ALL ASSUMING YOU HAVE A BLACK THEME!
The Cab is for TF3D....stop TF3D(settings->today)..install cab...restart TF3D
That will make your TF3D selections (calendar, call history, clock...etc) a dark grey.
Now here is the info for changing the selection color in the start menu etc..
HKCU/software/microsoft/today/HTC Black.tsk
change "Color_Highlight" value to 77 77 77 00
HKLM/software/microsoft/color
change "33" and "34" values to 77 77 77 00
change "BaseHue" value to 160
Below registry change will change the dialpad highlight color from green to grey. Assumes you use the default Diamond dialer.
HKLM/software/HTC/PHONE
change "highlightColor" hex value to 777777HKCU/software/microsoft/today/HTC Black.tsk
change "Color_Highlight" value to 77 77 77 00
HKLM/software/microsoft/color
change "33" and "34" values to 77 77 77 00
change "BaseHue" value to 160
Below registry change will change the dialpad highlight color from green to grey. Assumes you use the default Diamond dialer.
HKLM/software/HTC/PHONE
change "highlightColor" hex value to 777777
Now...if you use Large Start Menu...when you presst Start on your phone you may still have green selections...if you do then do this:
create there DWORD values in HKLM/Software/HTC/EnlargeMenu/ :
ManilaCustomHLUp and ManilaCustomHLDown, both with 00ababab hex value, that should change enlarge start menu to grey
There are a couple of threads on XDA for this:
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=430527 - For the dark grey TF3D
http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=442286 - For the grey selection in the start menu, other windows, etc..